Trauma

Recognizing Trauma: Support and Healing Through Faith

Understanding Trauma

Trauma is a deep wound of the heart and mind that causes profound suffering. When someone experiences trauma, they need special help and healing, but it’s not always easy to recognize. Trauma affects everyone differently, and unlike physical wounds, the effects of trauma can’t be seen on the outside.

But there are some common ways trauma affects people’s minds, bodies, and spirits. Here’s what trauma can look like and ways to help if you or someone you know is struggling.

Reliving What Happened

People who have suffered trauma often relive the experiences that hurt them. Reliving isn’t the same as remembering; it means someone’s body and mind are experiencing the trauma again, even though it’s not actually happening in the moment. They may think or talk about what happened frequently or have flashbacks or nightmares, making it hard to concentrate.

One thing to know: The experience of reliving trauma can be like watching a video of the event, where one’s attention fades, and the memory is processed as though it’s happening in the present.

Scriptural Insight:

“I lie down and try to rest; I look for relief from my pain. But you—you terrify me with dreams; you send me visions and nightmares until I would rather be strangled than live in this miserable body.” — Job 7:13-15 (GNT)

One action that can help: Using grounding techniques can help keep us aware of the present moment. For example, try feeling your feet on the ground, holding a small object, or watching a clock’s second hand tick.

Avoiding Reminders

Trauma survivors often avoid reminders of their experiences, such as people, places, or activities. They may numb their feelings through addictive substances or become reluctant to talk about their trauma, leaving feelings bottled up.

One thing to know: Emotions are a package deal. Avoiding certain feelings also avoids healing experiences and relationships that could help recovery.

Scriptural Insight:

“Turn that day into darkness, God. Never again remember that day; never again let light shine on it. Make it a day of gloom and thick darkness; cover it with clouds, and blot out the sun.” — Job 3:4-5 (GNT)

One action that can help: Try taking a friend along when facing reminders of traumatic events, or use creative expression, like writing or drawing, to externalize feelings and see them from a new perspective.

Being on Alert

After trauma, people may feel on alert constantly, feeling tense or jumpy. This state can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, sleeplessness, or panic attacks.

One thing to know: Trauma keeps our bodies on high alert, which prevents us from fully resting. Relaxation exercises can help calm the body.

Scriptural Insight:

“I am terrified, and the terrors of death crush me. I am gripped by fear and trembling; I am overcome with horror. I wish I had wings like a dove. I would fly away and find rest.” — Psalm 55:4-6 (GNT)

One action that can help: Practice breathing or relaxation exercises daily to help the body learn to “turn off” its alert state and foster long-term calm.

God’s Promise of Healing:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

The first step toward healing is recognizing trauma symptoms in yourself or others. Healing is a gradual process, and God wants to walk alongside you.

Your World May Have Turned Upside Down

Here are some basic practices that will help you recover more quickly.

Take care of your body: Try to eat well, sleep adequately, and exercise. If sleep is difficult, physical activity can help reduce stress and improve sleep quality.

Connect with others: Even if you feel like being alone, reaching out can aid your recovery, while isolation can slow it.

Ask for and accept help: Lean on others when you need support.

Reestablish routines: Particularly for children, routines reduce the sense of chaos caused by the traumatic event.

Complete small tasks: Restoring order, even in small ways, can provide a sense of control.

Avoid major decisions: Be mindful of using alcohol or sleep aids for coping.

It’s normal not to feel like praying or reading the Bible after a traumatic event. God understands, as the verse below reminds us.

“Just as parents are kind to their children, the LORD is kind to all who worship him, because he knows we are made of dust.” — Psalm 103:13–14 (CEV)

Facing Practical Challenges

After a traumatic event, practical problems may feel overwhelming. Thinking clearly can be difficult, but discussing these questions with someone can help you sort through your options:

What resources do you have?

What have you tried? What was helpful or not?

What are some other things to try?

Who might help, even a little?

What seems like the most helpful next step?

Reactions to Disaster and Trauma

Trauma can bring on intense emotions, similar to the psalmist’s expression of feeling flooded by chaos. Accepting what happened is vital to healing, and God has a purpose for your days.

Scriptural Insight:

“For only a penny you can buy two sparrows, yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father’s consent. As for you, even the hairs of your head have all been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows!” — Matthew 10:29-31

It’s natural to react to trauma differently each day. Ask God for what you need to get through, as Jesus taught us to pray: “Give us today the food we need” — Matthew 6:11.

“The thought of my pain, my homelessness, is bitter poison; I think of it constantly and my spirit is depressed. Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing: The LORD’s unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise. The LORD is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.” — Lamentations 3:19–24

What Helps Children?

Children also experience trauma but may show it differently. They may revert to younger behaviors, be fearful, or clingy, and need reassurance and comfort. Caregivers’ support is crucial for children’s recovery; they should provide attention, allow children to express emotions, and avoid strict discipline related to trauma responses.

Scriptural Insight:

“Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people. When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, ‘Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’” — Mark 10:13-16

Why Do I Feel So Sad?

THE GRIEF JOURNEY

After experiencing a traumatic event, it is natural to feel intense sadness. Traumatic experiences often bring significant losses, and when we lose someone or something important to us, sadness is a normal response. Understanding this process can be helpful. The Bible acknowledges this journey, reminding us that:

“Everything on earth has its own time and its own season. There is a time for birth and death, planting and reaping, for killing and healing, destroying and building, for crying and laughing, weeping and dancing…” — Ecclesiastes 3:1–4

Grieving is a journey, one that requires time and patience. Imagine traveling through different “neighborhoods” along the way. Here are some common stages of grief you may encounter:

Neighborhood of Denial and Anger

You might feel numb or shocked and deny the loss has happened. You may also feel anger—toward others, yourself, or even God. Thoughts of “if only” or regrets about preventing the loss may preoccupy your mind. You may forget to take care of yourself, eat, or even find yourself crying frequently.

Neighborhood of No Hope

Feelings of hopelessness may set in, draining your energy and making it difficult to get out of bed or care for yourself. You might feel there is no purpose to life or be tempted to numb the pain with unhealthy habits. Guilt or blame might also arise, even if there was nothing you could do to prevent the loss.

Neighborhood of New Beginnings

Gradually, you may notice a renewed sense of life, energy, and hope. You’ll begin to make plans, reconnect with others, and find that memories no longer cause as much pain. You may still remember what happened, but the intensity of grief may ease over time.

Along this journey, there might be pressures from others or internal voices urging you to “be strong” or “move on quickly.” While these sentiments may be well-meaning, they can create a “false bridge” that seems to offer a shortcut to healing. However, true healing requires allowing yourself to experience and process your pain rather than avoiding it.

Moving Toward New Beginnings

To fully enter the “Neighborhood of New Beginnings,” you may need to reshape parts of your identity tied to what was lost—such as being a parent, spouse, or friend of someone who has passed. Remember, grief is not linear; it can ebb and flow, and you may revisit different stages as you heal. This journey requires patience, courage, and a lot of energy.

If you feel stuck in one stage or find that grief is overwhelming your daily life, consider reaching out for help.

“I am worn out, O Lord; have pity on me! Give me strength; I am completely exhausted, and my whole being is deeply troubled. How long, O Lord, will you wait to help me? Come and save me, Lord; in your mercy rescue me from death.”

— Psalm 6:2–4, 6–8

Tips for Grieving in a Healing Way:

Express Your Feelings: Talk about your experience, anger, and sadness with someone you trust. Expressing these emotions can help you process your grief.

Acknowledge Grief as Normal: Recognize that grieving takes time, and your feelings may vary from day to day. Healing is a gradual process.

Identify Losses: When sadness arises, reflect on what specific losses might be causing that emotion.

Memorialize Lost Loved Ones: If a loved one’s body is not recoverable, hold a service to honor and remember them.

Bring Pain to God: When ready, bring each specific loss to God in prayer. Acknowledge each part of your loss, whether it’s companionship, security, or a source of joy, and share these with Him.

Grieving Together: Supporting Children and Teens

Children and teens need specific support in their grief journeys. Here are some ways to help:

Reunite Families: If possible and safe, bring children back to their families.

Restore Routines: Stability and familiarity help children feel secure.

Listen Actively: Allow children to express their pain through drawing or play, and ask them to share their thoughts.

Be Honest: Offer simple, truthful explanations about the situation.

Engage in Family Discussions: Take time daily to talk, pray, and find encouragement in scripture.

Help Schools Understand: Ensure teachers and administrators know about a child’s experience to provide appropriate support.

Give Teens Space and Purpose: Teens may need privacy, time with friends, and tasks that make them feel useful and valued.

Reflection Questions:

Have you started on the grief journey? Where do you find yourself now?

Have you felt stuck in a particular neighborhood? Did you try to skip any steps?

Who are you able to talk to safely about your grief?

How can my wounded heart heal?

DEALING WITH PAIN

Think of the pain in your heart like a heart wound. As the Psalmist says, the pain hurts to the depths of our hearts.

But my Sovereign LORD,

help me as you have promised,

and rescue me because of the goodness of your love.

I am poor and needy;

I am hurt to the depths of my heart.

Like an evening shadow

I am about to vanish;

I am blown away like an insect.

My knees are weak from lack of food;

I am nothing but skin and bones.

When people see me, they laugh at me;

they shake their heads in scorn.

Help me, O LORD my God;

because of your constant love, save me!

PSALM 109:21–26

Compare this pain in your heart with a physical wound, like a deep gash. How is a heart wound similar or different?

A physical wound is visible.

A physical wound is painful, and sensitive.

It needs to be treated.

Any dirt or bacteria needs to come out.

If it’s ignored, it may get infected.

God heals but he uses people like mothers, nurses, doctors.

It takes time to heal.

It may leave a scar.

After a traumatic event, you need to take care of the wounds of your heart so you can recover.

To treat a heart wound, you need to express your pain. Find someone you can tell your story to, someone who is able to listen without making you feel worse. That person needs to keep what you share confidential, and listen to you without trying to fix you, or give you quick solutions, or compare your story to theirs. Choose this person carefully. Often people who have good intentions try to tell you how to fix a problem. You may need to remind others when you need them to just listen and understand rather than trying to advise you.

A person’s thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out.

PROVERBS 20:5

No one who gossips can be trusted with a secret, but you can put confidence in someone who is trustworthy.

PROVERBS 11:13

Don’t let anyone pressure you to tell your story if you don’t feel comfortable or ready to do so. You may need to tell your story bit by bit over time. Like a bottle of soda that has been shaken, you may need to let out the fizz little by little to keep from overflowing. You may also need to retell your story many times in order to accept what has happened and work through different parts of it. As you share, tell what happened, then when you’re ready, move on to how you felt while it was happening, and finally focus on the part that was the hardest for you. Even Jesus shared his pain with his friends.

Jesus took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee. Grief and anguish came over him, and he said to them, “The sorrow in my heart is so great that it almost crushes me. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

MATTHEW 26:37–38

You can also express your pain by drawing. And you don’t have to be an artist! Just get paper and pen or markers, get quiet inside, and let the pain come through your fingers onto the paper. Don’t worry about whether it is a good picture or not. Then think about what you see in the drawing.

Telling your story and being listened to sounds so simple, but it will help you heal. Hearing others tell their stories can help too, by reminding you that you were not the only one experiencing the traumatic event. At the same time, it will help them heal, and you will be able to offer comfort to each other.

Here are four questions that you can use as you listen:

What happened?

How did you feel?

What was the hardest part for you?

Have you begun to feel any safer? Who or what helped?

Often as people talk about an experience, they begin to understand their own thoughts and feelings better. They may come to realize that how they have been thinking about the situation is not helpful.

The Bible tells us: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts”

Proverbs 4:23

Sometimes when we reflect on a difficult time, we become aware that God has helped us through it in some way. God also comforts our hearts and is the source of healing.

The Bible tells us that as we are comforted, we can become a source of healing to others:

Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merciful Father, the God from whom all help comes! He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God.

2 CORINTHIANS 1:3–4

For Reflection

Did the listening questions help you clarify your feelings? Did they help you think differently about your experience? Explain your responses.

How did it feel to tell part of your story to someone else?

These practices and reflections can help you take steps toward healing, with the understanding that trauma recovery is a process. Trust that God is near, ready to guide and support you.